"there's no flaws in michaela strachan" - monsters4GODS

"i'd really love to get inside your country file"


the best way i ever celebrated st patricks day was by playing an acoustic gig. it was one of my favourite gigs i played in m4G. partly because we played well, but mostly beacuse the set was relaxed and self indulgent. we were only playing to half a dozen drunks, a soundguy and taming pandora who was playing later, and we treated ourselves by playing stuff we'd never done before - including the later verses of michaela that we didn't usually get round to, some of which got laughs from drunks.

michaela's on some wierd bbc adverts at the moment superimposed on some weak animation and trying to act. i think the fact that she's not very good at it is part of her charm. she's not a stunning beauty but she has always been nice looking and always comes accross as friendly and enthusiastic. her single h-a-p-p-y radio was much better than most people would think too. i don't think we were ever that serious about our devotion to her, despite the lyrics to this song, but she was cute back in her wide awake club days (when there's an incredibly unsubstatiated rumour she had a thing with mike myers who did some sketches for it) and she's still looking pretty good for 40.

"sea bass" - monsters4GODS

"my makeup will etch my sorrow on your face. you're smiling, telling me they're just laughter lines"



i never really knew what this song was about, even the bits that i wrote, yet at some level it always meant something to me. it definitely wasn't about seabass though. he came from uruguay, and there are rumours of his immortality.

"saltwater towns" - monsters4GODS / sultry lemon

"we fade in and out of our saltwater towns with gardens of dreams and temples of sound"


the earworm is specifically the sultry lemon recording of this song about 70% of the time, but occasionally lapses into a more familiar m4G arrangement.


i think i'd hate to live at the seaside. i cant see what attraction all the retired people see in it. i can see how it would make more sense in a climate where there is a higher proliferation of scantily clad lovelies, but i can see those on the interweb any time i like and i dont think even that would outweigh the negatives. now i realise the cynic would argue that i lived at the coast, but swansea is more a city that happens to be next to a beach, and to me doesnt really count as the seaside. it doesnt exist to pander to holidaymakers and daytrippers. its not a depressing economic wasteland the coldest 8 months of the year. it could never be described as a resort. these are the thingsthat i associate with the seaside. swansea does share some of the other drawbacks though - such as seagulls, constant wind and the sand that gunks up the bearings on your skateboard.

"body parts" - licking chocolate jesus

"i know a secret about you, touching yourself in the bathroom, watching yourself in the mirror, wishing that you could be near her"


i suffer from a strange sort of licking chocolate jesus tourettes. it affects me a lot less now than it did when i watched them gig a lot (trying hard not to be that fan who mouths the words along) but still from time to time i catch myself singing snatches of their lyrics aloud in far from appropriate situations. more than once this has led to scaring or getting disgusted looks from (or both) old ladies. most people thought that jungle was their best song, and i always had a soft spot for prosthetic limb, but every time i heard neil scream "you're a paranoid lover" it made me shudder.

lcj remain the best unsigned band i have ever seen live - and the gigs we played together were far too few since they always made m4G raise our game to try to compete.