"don't let me get me" - pink

"every day i fight a war against the mirror"


i know it's not a universally held opinion, but i think pink is gorgeous. she's had so many looks but they are pretty much all good. once upon a time one of the music tv channels (the hits i think) was having a pink weekend where all her videos were available for selection so she was on about every 4th or 5th video. i foolishly decided i wasn't going to go to bed until i had seen them all - which at the time was eight videos i think. at about a quarter to five on sunday morning they finally played the most girls video and i could finally get some sleep. by this time i think i had seen the lady marmalade video 5 times. the biggest problem was that most of the videos in between were the drossiest pop which was quite soporific.

on world aids day diva's bar had a porn star themed charity fancy dress night. like most fancy dress occasions this was generally an excuse for girls to look slutty whilst guys generally made as little effort as possible. i'm pretty sure i saw several people whose costume consisted of sticking a name label to their chest of a punny porn-star name. anyway, i had decided at that time that the sexiest moving image i had seen was pink's video for like a pill and that, although there was no actual sex or nudity in it i had drooled over it more than enough times for it to count. so i decided i was going as pink. the biggest obstacle i faced was that i am outrageously cheap and i had to go as pink on a budget of a couple of quid. so i went on a charity shop crawl. so that gorgeous flowing gaping black jacket was substituted by a "silk" robe (made by killing genuine acrylics) , that tiny tight skirt was replaced by the smallest skirt i could find and legally wear without being arrested for exposure, i already had some stockings so that wasn't a problem, the shoes i gave up as a dead loss on my budget and hoped people would be too distracted by the rest to notice, i copied her eyeliner style as well as i could, put loads of product in my hair so it came across my face "just so" and then came my big mistake. a feature of this outfit in the video is the crosses of black tape across her nipples. i'm pretty sure pink is wearing insulating tape, but the only tape i had was gaffer tape. now, as you are probably aware, insulating tape is much less sticky than gaffer tape. suffice it to say that removing the gaffer tape from my nipples was more than a little painful (pixie chris did it for me).
i had clearly made more effort than most of the males there put together.
a good night though.

"monstarr" - bis

"can i not be normal cos i'm not a size ten. play music, be in films or even show my face. should i be embarrassed if it's such a crime. funny how yr life depends upon yr waistline."



i must be getting old. it's a sure sign when my 31" jeans now fit me less well than my 34" jeans. when, like me, you are scrawny and unfit putting on weight is a weird experience. it just seems to arrive in bits that don't fit with the rest of your body - making me feel even less proprtionate than i ever did. a man this scrawny should not have a face this fat. don't expect me to do anything about it thou, i'm just too lazy.

partly because of my grunge casualty status, i often used to wear 2 or 3 pairs of jeans. this has the added effect of making your waist look really narrow in comparison to your hips and thus your reflection seems a bit slimmer. but then i usually used to wear 3 t-shirts and 2 shirts as well. this is mostly because this is a good look. just you wait, one day the fashion cycle will complete and looking this 1992 will make me cutting edge again. but i did always feel a lot better knowing that my body was a long way inside what you could see. hiding in plain sight.