"bitter honey" - angelou

"i am drunk on you"



first up, where did this blog go? i decided to have a couple of weeks off and it just somehow turned into 4 months. i really am pathetic.

secondly, who would have thought the first band i've not been a member of to have two songs mentioned in this blog would be angelou? but all through the last few hours i've had this song all over my mind so much it's made me want to get this blog back out.

and what a track to come back with. haunting, soft, beautiful, full of metaphor, ever so slightly strange, powerful at just the right moment, just enough of a twist of sadness - it is a love song that is so much like being in love. a song that makes you want to be in love. a song that celebrates love. love is the healthiest addiction i can think of.
go, take the one you love in your arms and get drunk on them.

"tell him" - the exciters

"i know something about love"



i have had a sad evening. not earth shatteringly tragic in the scheme of things, but enough to put me in a real downer.
my wonderful wife bought me a saxophone from e-bay. not just a saxophone, a 1954 conn 12m baritone - the sax of my dreams (though in my best and pickiest dreams its a mid 40s model with mint gold plate finish - and for free rather than the many thousands market forces would expect for such an item). i was so excited that it was arriving, but then so shocked when i opened the case. it instantly didn't look right, though the true horror was hidden until i lifted it up. the loop of the crook had taken a serious blow in transit and was bent right up against the body. this crushed the octave key meachanism, bent the top f key and snapped the top e key right off. coupled with the sadness of disappointment was the greater sadness of seeing something so beautiful that had been abused so badly. and it really was beautiful. and it really was brutally damaged. in its own way it was kinda heartbreaking.

stupid parcelforce clumsy delivery drivers. what have you done? what have you done?

"this is not a love song" - angelou

"we can sit and talk all night, spectate and philosophise but there's no rehearsal this is the real thing. so lets just say that you got it wrong and this is not a love song"



the monkey bar was one of those places that just had to exist. by day a scratty cafe, by night host to an eclectic range of gigs and club nights. i have a strange range of happy memories of it - the gig i played there was enhanced by the singing of drunken dutch sailors, the dub night had an open african drumming circle in the upstairs room and there was psycho's.

every third thursday a weak comedian would compere an acoustic night. i saw a lot of these gigs, but the only one that is specifically memorable was seeing angelou.

now, as you may have noticed, if you give a girl a guitar i am weak around her, and if you give a pretty and talented girl a guitar i am literally putty. they sung a complete set of soul-shatteringly lovely songs, threw in the best cover of buckley's hallelujah i have ever heard and were funny and endearing between songs. holly even seemed really sorry for having to take money from me in return for a copy of their cd afterwards.
it was an evening of beauty and i walked home in a daze that night with autumn thinking about turning into winter around me.

"the jeep song" - the dresden dolls

"i try to see it in reverse. it makes the situation hundreds of times worse when i wonder if it makes you want to cry every time you see a light blue volvo driving by"


it still shocks me that the dresden dolls arent huge. maybe not pop huge, but certainly indie huge. theyre both scarily talented musicians, their songs are intense and beautiful, amanda is a good looking lady with an original look - surely thats the right set of ingredients and then some.

i woke up this morning with this song in my head and its still there 6 hours later. its a catchy beast - particularly the sweary bits.

there are some cars that i instantly associate with people - beat up old red fiat pandas with jack, for example - some with events - small blue fords with trying in vain to get a whole band and all their gear through carmarthenshire in one - and some with times in my life - any of the increasingly few occasions i see a morris marina will always remind me of my childhood when it was our family car.

i'm pretty certain noone associates me with a car - since i've never owned one and since my wife's estate is useful but unremarkable - but i wonder what people do associate me with. might there be things that people see and are always reminded of me or a situation involving me? i'd like to think it was something cool and musical - cheap, heavily-customised guitars and gear for example - or something quirky - like silver body paint or stripy purple tights - or maybe even something meaningful, but i suspect if anyone does associate me with anything its something rubbish. thats the thing about other peoples memories - theyre so hard to alter.

The Bounty Kitchen Paper Song

"Use, rinse, rinse, rinse, use"

Have you ever seen the Bounty Strictly Come Dancing spoof advert? I saw it yesterday evening at a friend's house and the "use, rinse, rinse, rinse, use" refrain stuck in my head for ages...

Even as we went to see Lukas Moodysson's latest film, it was still there, playing in my head and coming out of my mouth, annoying my friends. It only stopped when the film started.

What can I say about "Container"? That there was 6 of us in the cinema, and one person walked out. That none of my three friends liked it. That it was a succession of black and white images, to the soft, monotonous sound of actress Jena Malone's voice. That it was both beautiful and horrible. Shocking and inspiring. Poetic. It reminded me of "the love song of J. Alfred Prufrock".